By Patrick Stanton
JetNation Senior Columnist
QUARTERBACK
Brooks Bollinger (4/5, 26 yds, 0 TD, 0 INT): Incomplete Apparently in pre-game warm-ups, Bollinger lost the Jets offensive line immunity survivor challenge and was subsequently sent packing by Pete Kendall and the boys in the first quarter. After spending time on the sidelines vomiting his breakfast and questioning teammates about how long President Dukakis had left in office, Jets trainers took him to the locker room. Probably a good thing anyways, he would have scored poorly at the rate he was going.
Vinny Testaverde (15/25, 122 yds, 0 TD, 2 INT, 3 Fumbles (2 Lost): F Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Leave Vinny. Please, I beg of you. Quietly resign tomorrow and never show your face in NY again.
Kliff Kingsbury (1/2, 17 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT): C+
Hey he didn’t fumble, didn’t throw an interception and finished the game as the Jets QB. That has to be good for something.RUNNING BACK
Curtis Martin (4 rushes, 7 yards): Incomplete A running back heading to the Hall of Fame in the near future gets 4 carries for an entire game???? 4?? Martin finished his day tied for with Bollinger for second place as Justin McCareins took the Jets week 11 rushing title home today with 8 yards.
WIDE RECEIVERS
Laveranues Coles (6 rec, 72 yards): B+ / Justin McCareins (5 rec, 73 yards): B+ Welcome back Justin McCareins, we’ve been looking for you for a while now. The Jets WRs held up their end of the contract today and left their recent case of the ‘dropsies’ at home.
TIGHT END(S)
Doug Jolley (1 rec, 4 yards): C- There’s no point leaving Jolley into to pass block because he just can’t do it. That said this offense was so pathetic today I have little else to critique.
OFFENSIVE LINE: F
“bush-league”, adj., Slang. Of inferior or unprofessional quality; second-rate: example: a bush-league advertising campaign. They just cost me 3 1/2 hours of my life that I will never get back. They should be embarrassed to show their faces.
DEFENSIVE LINE: F
I haven’t heard Ellis’ number called in 5 weeks. He was routinely blown 3-4 yards off the LOS. Reed is a fraud, but not as much of a fraud as Legree. D-Rob got blown the off the ball today by one man on multiple occasions but also managed to get in and disrupt the play at times. Abraham was a one man show pass rushing today although that’s not saying much. Rhodes, Hobson, and Law led the defense today with a sack each. That should say it all.
LINEBACKERS: C
C = average, which corresponds with how the LBs played today.
DEFENSIVE BACKS: D+
Ty Law is a human magnet. Referee’s penalty flags are weighed down by metal BBs. Coincidence? I think not. Rookie Justin Miller has demonstrated that he loves to hit and can hit hard. Now if he could only bottle that up and use it towards actual pass coverage he might make a difference.
SPECIAL TEAMS:
Ben Graham (3 punts, 51.3 avg, 58 long): A He may be our only shot at a representative in the Pro Bowl. He enjoyed the Mile High air but man can he put some wacky spin on the ball at times.
Justin Miller (5 ret, 23.2 avg, 30 long) F Justin Miller has been anointed as ‘one of the best kick returners in football’ by his overzealous fans on numerous occasions. Typically, the ‘best kick returners in football’ can make it two straight weeks without fumbling the ball away deep in their own end.
COACHING: F
Herm’s nice guy approach hasn’t worked and his new tough guy approach seems to be even worse. The Panthers’ Ken Lucas had it right all along, Herm has lost this team. No more excuses, no more reasoning, no more covering for this guy. He’s the head coach, he’s the leader of the team and he is directly responsible for the totality of the circumstances that this team finds itself in. Herm Lovers will unite and present a regress of grievances against the Herm Haters but they continue to fall on more deaf ears every week.