By G.O.B.
NY Jets @ Carolina Panthers
The Brooks Bollinger Era, Part II, begins once again for Gang Green. It took an injury to VT to force Edwards to play Bollinger and the result was the first 2 passing TDs for a Jets QB since the Nixon Administration. On offense, look for BB to have trouble getting his passes through a sea of Panther defensive linemen that will overload the shaky offensive line of the Jets. The running game will be equally shaky as Martin, with an increasingly bad knee, takes on a tough and well-prepared defense. On defense, prepare yourselves for the “Trung Candidate Scenario” where the Jets 30th ranked rushing defense allows backup DeShaun Foster to run for 125 and a score. When the Jets stack to stop the run, Steve Smith will exploit a suspect defensive backfield and Jake “Daylight come and I want to” Delhomme will throw with ease as the Panthers easily defeat the Jets 27-13
New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins
It would take an alien abduction to cause anymore damage to the Patriots defense this year. Word is Lloyds of London is considering dropping insurance coverage for this injury ravaged squad. Regardless, this is still a Bill Billichick coached team and as much as you may hate him, he finds a way to win and make do with what he has. Look for Miami to make a game of it, with a resurgent Ricky Williams playing a factor. New England’s best defense will be Tom Brady and its offense today. Look for Brady to rack up 3 scores, added to an almost automatic Gus Ferrotte miscue for 7 and I see the Patriots getting the win in a mini-shootout 31-24.
Minnesota Vikings @ NY Giants
Can a QB’s career really be decided by one player? Culpepper has been nothing without Moss and was further exposed as backup Super Bowl winner Brad Johnson came in and has managed to get the offense going. With the 27th and 25th ranked overall defenses respectively, look for a shootout at Giants Stadium with Eli Manning and the Giants getting the upper hand 34-28
Baltimore Ravens @ Jacksonville Jaguars
This is the match up dreams are made of. Cal’s China Doll Kyle Boller vs. Marshall’s Byron Leftwich for all the marbles. Maybe flexible scheduling isn’t such a bad thing for the networks. Baltimore’s pathetic offense led by their pathetic QB will be unable to crack the Jaguars 6th ranked defense. Look for Leftwich and the Jags to get just enough done to win 17-10.
Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts
Every week I like to pick an upset special, this isn’t it. I hope the RCA Dome staff have the tools to peel David Carr off of Dwight Freeney’s facemask. Frank Sorgi may even get some snaps when this one is through. Colts win 38-10
Arizona Cardinals @ Detroit Lions
You would think I’d care about a football game being played 15 miles away from my house, I don’t. An ineffective Joey Herrington vs. an ineffective Kurt Warner, sounds delicious. Warner is playing for the simple reason that the Cards are paying a lot of cash to him even though McCown should be their man. Herrington is playing because Jeff Garcia’s bells are still ringing from 2 weeks ago. Look for Detroit’s only hope in the world, their 10th ranked defense to shut down the Cardinals’ one dimension offense 21-13.
San Francisco 49ers @ Chicago Bears
Which sounds funnier: Cody Pinkett or Brooks Bollinger under center? Da Bears’s 3rd ranked defense will tear the Niners apart when this one is over. SF has nothing on offense and even less on defense. Look for Orton to Muhammed often as the Bears smoke the 49ers 24-0.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Buffalo Bills
The diapers are off as Larry Johnson gets the defaulted starting job at RB. This game will amount to KC’s Larry Johnson vs. BUF’s Kelly Holcomb as both sides look to exploit each others weaknesses. When the smoke clears, I see Buffalo squeaking out a win, 24-21.
Denver Broncos @ Oakland Raiders
When these 2 teams face off, statistics mean absolutely nothing. The combination of Mike Anderson/Tatum Bell should have a good day as I see the Broncos winning in Oakland 31-21.
Washington Redskins @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Cuz I’m Free….Free fallin, yeah, I’m free fallin, Free Fallin. Sorry I caught a Sirius Satellite feed from the TB Clubhouse there for a second. Remember when everyone thought Chris Simms’ was going to be the second coming of his father? Thought so. Redskins win 20-10.
St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks
Cue up the 1812 Overture. Would the last one to score at Qwest Field please turn out the lights. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: The division leading Seahawks have an opportunity to take a commanding lead in a decisive game against the Rams. Look for Matt “We want the ball and we’re gonna win” Hasselbeck and Marc Bulger to set the place aflame in between Shaun Alexander and Stephen Jackson’s rushing duel in a Left Coast shootout. UPSET SPECIAL – Rams win 38-34
Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons
I’m beginning to think Brett Favre should have retired this past year. It’s almost becoming painful to watch. Michael “I’m a pocket QB, really!” Vick and the Falcons easily take care of the Cheeseheads 28-13
Cleveland Browns @ Pittsburgh Steelers
I didn’t know how much bad blood there was between these 2 teams until I tailgated at Cleveland last year. This game could very well be an ideal pick for the upset special but with Pittsburgh down to its #3 and once cut, Eastern Michigan University standout QB Charlie Batch, the Browns pulling off a win isn’t as far fetched as it once was. I see this one being very close, possibly won by a late FG. With home field advantage, I’ll give the Steelers the upper hand with a 17-14 win.
Dallas Cowboys @ Philadelphia Eagles
Forget football, what is the over/under on John “the Windbag” Madden and his comments on the TO situation Monday Night. Big game here ladies and gents, the NFL schedule makers finally get one right. Tuna has the Cowboys red hot while Sally Jesse Raphael Reid has had the Eagles doing other things for the past week and a half. The Eagles have hit the desperation button, at 4-4 and in danger of becoming a playoff afterthought at their current pace. That said things have been going way too good in Big D and I think it’s time for some really angry looks from Parcells to come out. Look for the Eagles to rally and stay alive with a 20-17 win.