Report Card: Jets @ Panthers

By JetNation Columnist
Patrick Stanton

QUARTERBACK
Brooks Bollinger (11/21, 98 yds, 0 TD, 4 INT): F – Bollinger almost had me fooled. Even I was gullible enough to think he might be halfway decent after the San Diego. Admitting you’re wrong is always the first step in the 13 step recovery program. What? You thought there were only 12 steps? Well being a Jets fan qualifies you for the 13th step, that being the step in which you relapse and start over from scratch. I’m sure you noticed that the 13 Step program comes with its very own grade, the F Minus.

RUNNING BACK
Curtis Martin (19 rushes, 75 yards, 3.9 avg, 0 TD, 1 Fumble): D- Martin used up the last of his Veterans Preference Points to keep him out of the F realm. Hell of a time for a man to fumble for the first time in 2 years. Too slow, lacks any explosiveness, unable to exploit holes. Banged up beyond belief. Funny, in St. Louis there’s still a role for now 2nd string Marshall Faulk despite the presence of youngster and 1st stringer Stephen Jackson. Apparently that system doesn’t work in NY?

Cedric Houston (10 rushes, 53 yards, 5.3 avg): B Mr. Houston, this is AT&T, you have a person to person call from a Mr. Lamont Jordan in Oakland, California. I’m not going to sit here and proclaim Houston as the second coming of Barry Sanders by any stretch, but could it be? Another Curtis Martin backup with a yards per carry average at or above 5.0? It could be a sheer coincidence, then again, there might be something there. Time will tell if Martin’s drive for 1000 appears to be coming up short.

WIDE RECEIVERS
Laveranues Coles (3 rec, 30 yards): D- / Justin McCareins (2 rec, 21 yards): F Remember that scene in The Replacements where the coach smears the stick ’em all over the WR’s hands. The league fine for being caught doing that can’t be that much can it? The Jets QBs this season must be putting some sort of mysterious backspin on their passes. I mean seriously , how can sets of veterans hands possibly be that bad? McCareins has me completely flabbergasted to the point of explosion. I used to think the WR position was one of the areas we’d be ok in heading into next year, I’m now starting to get concerned.

TIGHT END(S)
Doug Jolley (2 rec, 25 yards): F Doug Jolley couldn’t stop molasses from going uphill in the middle of winter. His run blocking is horrible. His pass blocking is reprehensible. What you say? He isn’t known for his blocking? I don’t care.

OFFENSIVE LINE: F
5 sets of roller skates were recently reported missing from a roller rink near Hofstra. Police refused to identify suspects at this time but report that they are close to making some arrests. Stay tuned.

DEFENSIVE LINE: C
No sacks and gave up 101 yards on the ground to a combined effort of Davis and Foster. Once again the pass rush was a 1 man show with Abraham doing his best to get to Delhomme while the rest were MIA. But hell, when you’re on the field more then Rosanne Barr in a buffet line a little leniency has to be granted.

LINEBACKERS: C
I’m beginning to notice a disturbing trend from Jonathan Vilma. His uberaggresiveness is starting to cause him to over-pursue and miss tackles. I can’t get too upset, the kid is trying to make something happen. But it’s like your mom told you as a kid, don’t cross your eyes or else they’ll stay that way for life.

DEFENSIVE BACKS: C The Panthers top receiver was DeShaun Foster (3 rec, 43 yards) so that has to say something. They made 2 picks which were gifts, but they were at least in position to make them. Like the rest of the defense, they spent way too much time on the field.

SPECIAL TEAMS: F
(Ben Graham A+) Remember that 2nd round draft pick that supposedly had a leg so strong that he’d lead the league in touchbacks? Let me know when he gets one. Justin Miller, please drop your pants, turn your head to the side, and cough 3 times. Jets special teams used to be the most explosive thing on the field, now the only explosiveness is when the match gets dropped into the can of gasoline. Graham’s drive for team MVP continues.

COACHING: C
Hold onto something, I’m not going to bag on Herm this week, not that he’s off my hook by any stretch. Vince Lombardi couldn’t have done anything with that 2nd half disaster today. I liked the fact Houston got 10 carries, but you know what, give him more. This season is officially deader then Mama Cass. Play the youth, see what they are made of for next year. Right now Herm is trying to figure out a way to bring Fiedler back early from injury and save the season.

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