Brenda’s Haus of Style: This Week’s Discussion– Long Island Smells, Margaritas and 200 PM’s

~Each month, our intrepid cub reporter, Gang Green Girl, interviews Brenda, the world’s biggest Jets fan and stalker of Kevin Mawae. Tune in, be amazed. This month’s topics? Superman, booze, and Labor Day fashion:

Gang Green Girl: If you had three wishes, what would they be?

Brenda: Oh, that’s so EASY!

1. Jets win the Super Bowl.
2. Spend a weekend with Kevin Mawae
3. That I never ever get banned from JetNation.com

GGG: If I guy showed up at your house for a date wearing a Superman
costume, what would you do?

B: I’d say, Hi, I’m Wonder Woman. Then I would hide the Kryptonite, cancel my date with The Penguin and tell him “The Jets sure could use the Man of Steel”. Then, I would slam the door in his face–who needs Superman when you have Tom Shane! [Ed. Note: Holla!]

GGG: Can we wear white after Labor Day?

B: Tradition says NO white after Labor Day or before Easter. But I wear white all year round. It’s pure and innocent-Like ME.

GGG: Do you believe in love at first sight?

B: Nah. Lust…maybe. But LOVE…my only true LOVE is for Kevin and the Jets.

GGG: What is your biggest fear?

B: My biggest fear is that the Jets move to Long Island. Pee UUUUU. That
would really suck. Long Island, like, smells, you know?

GGG: If you could invite three people (past or present) to dinner, who would be your lucky guests?

B: TomShane would be my servant. My guests would be Kevin Mawae, Howie Long and Jeremy Roenick. I’d serve margaritas, if you know what I mean!

GGG: No, I’m not really sure what you mean…

B: Oh. Nevermind then! Ha! Mah-Gah-REE-tahz!

GGG: Name your favorite Seinfeld episode.

B: There are so many! Some of my favorites were: Kramer swimming in the Hudson River, Kenny Rogers Chicken and Elaine dancing. But the best episode was The Contest (who was the Master of Their Domain). Just like Kramer, I’d be the first one out! Ha!

GGG: Who is the most influential person in your life and why?

B: My mailman because he is at my haus six days a week in the rain, sleet, and snow. He does not give me any grief, brings me his package every day and he is sooo hot in that uniform. Okay, just kidding. The most influential person in my life is my man, Kevin Mawae. He plays with his heart and soul and takes one for the team. Added bonus: He screams my name on NFL Miked Up. How can anyone else top him?!

GGG: Can you tell us about your typical workday?

B: I wake up, log onto JETNATION, have my coffee, shower and shave, brush my teeth and head to the office. Then I order lunch and cocktails, b.s. with fellow co-workers, talk to Gang Green Girl! and make plans for the evening/happy hour. Then I cook dinner, follow-up with JetNation, make some phone calls and appointments for the following day, book my Jets road trips, yada, yada, yada. And, shop, shop, shop.

GGG: With that busy schedule, how can you possibly send 200
PMs inviting unsuspecting people to sign up for JetNation?

B: I have my secretary do it. Duh.

GGG: How would you like to be remembered?

B: I’d like to be remembered as the person who sent 200 PMs on another site, got banned from there and then recruited countless others on the best damn website, JetNation.com!!!!! Then I’d like to have my picture tattooed on Smizzy’s ass so Tom and Max can see me for the rest of their lives! I’d also like to be remembered as the #1 Jets fan in the world and I want my ashes scattered over Jets Stadium. Amen.

Our Cub Reporter Gang Green Girl gets the answers to the questions that others only dare to ask. She has been with us since our inception. She was given this assignment because her liver is the only one that can hang with our very own Diva Brenda. Gang Green Girl is single and resides in NYC with her very sick puppy Martin.

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